What It Feels Like

So we won the National Ultimate Frisbee Championship. I am split as to how to feel about this: at once like it's no big deal, because this is our third year in a row and we worked really hard and a national championship is just a national championship and a lot of people think frisbee is "cute". However, at the same time, it's one of the biggest accomplishments of my life. I feel overcome with pride for myself and my team. Not only because people thought we weren't going to be able to pull it off this year, but also because we wanted it that bad. But, now, coming back to school and reality after a whirlwind weekend in Ohio in a world where Ultimate is all that matters, I feel quite empty. Quite tired and apathetic. Two weeks and college is over. I have no tangible grip on anything right now and I"m tired of being preemptively nostalgic, but it is what it is when it is it. I'm trying to hold onto too many things. I think that if I relax my grip a little, I'll let their little hearts beat and I'll come to a certain peace about my amount of control in the world. I could afford less control and more flexibility, then maybe I wouldn't find the need to say goodbye with such pomp and finality. Regardless, I'm a national champion for life, and that's something.